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Wine Quiz: Can You Pick the Real Wine Terms From the Fake Ones?

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Do you ever read about wines and wonder what the heck the experts are talking about? You’re not alone. Experts don’t always know what they are talking about either, and when they do, it often involves a lot of big expensive words in the hopes that you, the reader, will be impressed by their big bag of jargon.

Some of the following are actual terms that wine experts use to describe wine and wine related things. The others were just pulled out of our collective backsides in an effort to be cute. Take the quiz and see if you can guess which is which.

1) Bung hole — The opening in a cask in which wine can be put in or taken out.

2) De-saturated pork rinds notes – This describes a medium bodied wine that has a long smoky finish.

3) Minerality – Minerality represents the Earth and the soils the vines sprang from, which can be detected in the juice.

4) TOASTY – Toasty is most commonly a reference to a wine that’s oak-aged in Medium Plus Toasted Oak. It doesn’t actually taste like toast (sorry to disappoint) it’s more like slightly burnt caramel on the finish.

5) Cat’s Pee – A negative aroma associated with white wines, particularly Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley.

6) Roof Shingle – A term to describe a wine that has moldy odor, most common with medium to full bodied reds, such as Cabernet or Syrah.   

7) Fruit Looped – Any wine, but usually a white, that is overly complex with a fruit-forward first impression and a cloying sugary finish.

8) Chemtrailed – This describes a wine that has a long finish that gives off persistent flavors of chemicals, most often a problem with white wines.

 

 

Answers

1- True- We are not making this up.  From Glossary of Wine Terminology at Vinology.com. Also from some select episodes of Beavis and Butthead.

2-False. Pork rinds are the poor cousin of bacon, so a real wine connoisseur would use the word “bacon” to describe a wine. As for “de-saturated”, that just sounded fancy.

3-True, from Savory.com. Seems logical but you might sound snobbish if you say it out loud at a party.

4-True. From Winefolly.com It just doesn’t seem logical to describe something that tastes a little like caramel as toast-like, so WTF? If you want to look like a pretentious snob, go for it. Use this one next chance you get. Just don’t complain that you don’t have any friends.

5-True. Thank you again Winefolly.

6-False. But if you repeat it enough to all the right people you might make it a thing.

7-False. Do they even make fruit loops anymore?

8-False. The reason this answer is false is because the 7-foot tall shape-shifting lizards working to hide the president’s real birth certificate don’t want you to know.

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